Peep & 14 wks

Daddy and I have a new name for our little one. Gabriel in utero was "shrimpy" if you all remember from reading my 2009 blogs. This baby is "Peep," after the cute little Peep Easter Candy! We figure peep size would be about the size of our munchkin at this stage. I'm thinking a pink peep, but I would be happy with blue too..just surprised. Momma instinct is pretty strong!

I am 14 weeks tomorrow and have my next appointment at 16. My sweet tooth has kicked in and I find myself buying chocolate milk at the store. I have also recently brought home Reeces Eggs, twizzlers, and doughnuts! Ha! I should NOT go to the grocery store hungry.. I am often hungry these days although I fill up pretty quick. I remember with Gabriel being a bottomless pit. With this one I'm full quicker and have a lot more bloating. By the end of the day I swear I could be 5 months pregnant. At the beginning, however, its pretty much flat. Weird! I still fit my jeans, and I've gained 3-4 lbs.

My emotions have been pretty stable until this morning. I was watching "Black Beauty" with Gabriel and started to cry at the site of this skinny little horse standing where a beautiful black beast once stood. What is wrong with me?! I guess I started thinking of mistreated animals and people, and it broke my heart. We all go through so much in life and some people (and animals too) have such sad stories. I believe God gave us animals to care for and protect, not abuse and mistreat. The same with people. We, as Christians, are known for our love. I struggle with this so much because Christian love is not the same as this worldly, "fluffy," everyone gets along love. Sometimes you have to tell people the truth and frankly that hurts. My heart is just breaking right now as my sister in law is so lost in sin that she can't even recognize it, because she is so deep into it. Meanwhile other "Christians" are telling her God loves her, she will come out of this stronger with lessons learned, and she is God's child. WHERE ARE THEY GETTING THIS FROM?! If her fruits are ROTTED then how can we say she is Christian?! Don't they understand that they may be appeasing her physical body but they could be sending her to hell?! Why am I so conflicted about this. Why does it seem so clear to me, but not to them. So they think I'm mean and obnoxious for pointing out that she might not be saved! Does Matthew 7:15-20 mean nothing to these people?! Or do they choose to ignore it because their worldview is much stronger than their Biblical one? It is just so sad to me. I am having a hard time with it, especially this morning. Something needs to be done, I just don't know what. Praying for the Lord's guidance. It's not persecution I fear, but making the wrong choices and cutting her to the bone without being able to rejuvenate her. The Lord rejuvenates, but she may not look to Him. I guess there isn't much I can do about her choices though...

Sorry to take a sweet blog and turn it into a depressing one. That is me today. Sweet and conflicted. Thank you pregnancy hormones! Happy 14 weeks, tomorrow.