20 Weeks!

So much is going on lately, but as I feel Josiah kicking away in my belly I wanted to take a moment and write about him. I have really started feeling him (and seeing him) in the past two days. It's crazy how you can go from every now and again kicks to feeling him all the time. He's getting bigger and stronger too! Probably all the lbs momma is packing on (10-12 already). I have stopped the egg nog lattes before I start looking like santa clause (or Mrs. Clause). So hopefully the weight gain will even out just slightly. I believe I've pin pointed one other reason for my overeating/overindulgence this time.....my kids. When I want to pull my hair out -or cry in a corner bc I'm seriously over emotional this pregnancy- I go eat chocolate, candy, graham crackers, chips, cookies, or cake. SOMETHING to give me a little solace. Do I sound crazy to ya'll too, or is it just myself? I might as well make a joke out of it because that is how I'm getting through. One day -and even at the moment- I will laugh at myself for being so silly. Sometimes I think how blessed I am, how blessed to be able to have children, and then sometimes I want to -and have a few times- cry. Yesterday I cried. I got shuffled ahead of 4-5 people in line at Ulta because my kids were being absolute monsters. Elizabeth was enough with her temper, screaming, throwing herself out of my arms, and pushing to run away from me, but then add in a 3 year old who decided not to listen (probably because my hands were full of make up and a screaming one year old), who was also making loud noises, and who almost knocked over a shelf of robes, and I was sweating profusely, red cheeked, and about to lose my mind. I did in the car. Cried all the way home. My son kept telling me I should not cry because I'm not a baby. So then fast forward to today when I was able to stay outside, play with the kids, and watch Gabriel and Elizabeth interact with cousins, and I was a happy woman. Bi polar is how I feel right now. I guess this is normal? Maybe normal for others, but not really for me. I'm usually at like a hormonal level of neutral. Lately I'm at like super "acidic." So, I'm coping with food mostly. I won't blame Josiah, but I will blame pregnancy. This time around has been a little rough. It is times like these, however, that I feel him kick and it's all worth it. I love those little kicks, and I actually do love being pregnant when I can sit and enjoy it. I need to enjoy it because I would like a little more space between any more! For my sanity's sake =).

Here is a picture of me at 20 weeks:

and my lovely family taken at last weekends mini session shoots:

I am a lucky woman. I realize it when the kids are napping (hahahaha).